This time i'm not going to post about my college life as I'm pretty sure that most of you are not interest with reading the same thing all the time. I wish i can post a blog that relate to my relationship but i was thinking, should I?After fews minutes struggling and I decided to post it. Despite it's not suppose to be, but i don't care anymore., just do what i want to do.
Its had been 5 months plus, coming to 6 months. I realize how much I love him and need him. This love make me crazy at the same times worrying stuff that I don't have to worry about. Simply say that, I had dropped into the deep river that nobody can pull me up even myself. I never serious with the relationship that I had gone through before, totally never!! Yet, this time i totally lose to myself, I admit it and got nothing to say.
This relatioship drive me crazy and silly. Normally a person will change their characteristics because their loves ones, it's a good sign. I mean change from unperfectly to perfect, not 100% yet 200 %. Someone may said love is blind but I personally don't agree with this phrase. For me, love is eternal and regardless to one's fault. I'm so glad that we are together now to share everything and my life with him.
Things he always said it to me make me feel complete. He always warm up my heart when I felt uncomplete. Sometimes what he did and what he said make me feel so loved. He's my passion for my life. It's important to me that he knows how much I love him. I'm thankful for his forgiveness and fulfillness all the time. I know i shoudn't be greedy that want him to be with me for his whole life, atleast we're still breathing, we should appreciate what we have at the moment.
He was like my soul, he knows what i'm thinking all the time. I'm so curios how he did that, maybe it was the things that normally people mentioned,"use the heart to feel and love someone". He never lie me before, what he can't promise me he just said can't. He didn't 'open the blank cheques'. Seriously, he change me alot, i admit this, even my friends said so. He totally change me into another person but in good ways actually. He makes me more independent and don't speculate things with our first view.
I know him well, he prefers his girl to be independent, caring, always talk something usefull and meaningful. He treat everything serious especially our relationship. Sometimes i just purposely make him mad and angry just wanna caught his attention on me. Just because I love him so much. But after that i felt sorry to hurt him. This loves drive me nuts. I told him before, don't tell me you love me unless you mean it, because i might do something crazy like believe it. Haha, but at the moment i haven't reach that state yet.
Sometimes he just told me don't compare him with someone or so on so thing. But it's true!!He is totally himself and not someone. The phrase that i always said, 'you might hold my hand for a while but you hold my heart forever.' No matter what happend, i hope i'll always be there for him even for a second, it's worthwile, it's satisfied. There is very blissfulness that we can share everything even though it is not a big matter. And i hope it make sense.
At this moment, i know I should not think all those useless things that not relate with my studies but just kindly allow me do once so that my heart will feel more comfortable after i spread out my feelings. I dont know what the expression once he saw this post, maybe speechless, angry or anything else la. Haha,i dont care. Sometimes he really make me breathless as i couldn't stand for it, seriously. Mybe this is the power of love.
I just hope can be with him forever and ever. I'm sure both of us are able to manage the tough that we face now and in future at the same time work hard to maintain our relationship. I heart him no matter what and i hope 'YOU' too. <3 u.(our sign)
